When the wind blows-

Sometimes I feel the sound in the distance,

it is the voice of the ages to come.

And in a thousand years does any of this matter,

in a thousand years will the wind carry my body with the sands.

The problem that I see is that we only see a few days, maybe a few weeks at most a few months in advance.

But what would happen if we thought one hundred years in advance of even a thousand?

What if we lived as if we were a thousand years away?

The wind blows through the branches of the tree and we are shaken, to fear so deep that we die.

Not to die physically, but to never allow our the heart to pump blood through the veins.

Let the wind carry away all our futile worries.

Let the wind bring hope.

Hope to waken and live life.

And when the wind blows would let it carry us away.

Paying rent-

It has now been six years since I last paid rent, and a few days ago I sent in a check.

It is a very strange feeling, the thought of setting up an apartment.

Having my own space.

Actually I attempted to move to Chicago, when I packed up my truck last year I did not move to Chicago with my heart.

My heart was still wandering out there somewhere, and I still feel like there are parts of my heart that are still traveling.

A fear of mine that I will hate it, that I will be found once again in the breakdown lane of the highway with lights flashing.

I still dream about the road, I often dream about Africa, India and every place in between.

My eyes searching open air markets, buying a kilo of fresh fruit, striking up conversation with a vendor.

It will be weird to wake up in the same bed day after day for a year.

In a matter of days I will be leaving Oklahoma and moving to Louisville Kentucky to start graduate school.

I will be starting a two year program in religious studies.

I will to my best to keep writing, I look forward to living in a new place, hopefully this time the feeling will not fade.

Ten minutes before it is too late-

My dad said that rain always comes ten minutes before it is too late,

and I have pondered this statement a lot over the last few days.

Life does seem to work out that way, the dry seasons of our souls

and when we think that we cannot take it any more the skies open and rain covers us.

Here at the ranch all the grass has been burning up, it has just been too long without any rain

and with temperatures hovering close to a hundred degrees, we needed rain.

And today the rain came, and as I ran to escape the giant drops that felt like tears, it was hard not to laugh and dance.

Because I knew that God had not forgotten me

And truly it is never too late

It might feel like it is too late but ten minutes before it is too late Gods rain will come,

but we must wait.

Around the Ranch-

This last weekend we held the Oklahoma Brangus field day at our place. We had quite a few ranchers come out, and had some great speakers and a great heifer show. I have decided to just post a few pictures. And I have included a few more pictures of my family.

My grandpa and niece Kelsey

This is Momo, my grandpa Kelsey and my other sister Lauren.

Lauren, Momo and I

My dad, Lauren, Momo and I

Moon summer Sun-

It has been a great summer for my family, these are just a few photos from a few weeks ago.

We always seem to have a great time,

and the pool just makes things a little bit better if that is possible.

Emily and Benson

Phil my little brother

Shannon, my mom, emily and I

Emily my sister and Phil my brother in law.

Tanner and Shannon, it was a great water fight

Hunter and Bobby fighting to the death!

My grandparents

When 10 years comes around-

In ten years since graduating high school I could never have dreamed that my life would have played out the way that it has.
This last weekend was my ten year high school reunion, it has been a wild ten years, and one thing is for sure I would have never dreamed that I would have been here in Oklahoma for my reunion.
But I guess that is one of the small blessings in life. It was great to be able to see old friends, some faces looked just the way they had walking across the stage at graduation and some I would say they were wearing their bodies out way too fast and they had better slow down. I have travelled a lot of miles, slept in the ditch in at least a dozen countries, but I had not aged as much as some of my fellow classmates.
It was great to laugh at old stories, and to hear that so many of my friends have lived their dreams. I received the award for having lived in the most places, and I am thankful it was not the award for having had the most children which is four I would like to include. I guess maybe I have not lived in the most places, maybe I would have won the award rather for not having lived in any place for the longest period of time, or maybe in truth there would be someone else that lives so far off the radar that they know nothing of facebook and had no idea of the reunion, nor even knew how to get back to Edmond even if they wanted, and if that fellow traveler is out there then the award goes to them.
But it is always funny to me when people ask me if Afghanistan was scary and I want to ask them if being married and having kids is scary. Because I can honestly say that living in Afghanistan was a breeze to untangling my emotions and figuring out how to communicate clearly in a relationship. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but a broken heart takes a long time to heal. And so in my opinion is that awards should be garland around the shoulders of my classmates with successful marriages and who are raising children. It just does not look as exciting at times, but I tip my hat to you.
These last ten years have gone by way too fast, where has the time gone, slipped through our fingers.
And if I could not imagine the last ten years, only God knows the next ten years.
Really I have not a clue what the next ten months will hold,
I hope just to have a grasp on the next ten days.
And in the next ten minutes I will hopefully have this posted on my blog.
So let this be a reminder to us all that we need to take it a little easy, find some time to figure out just where we are going.
But do not underestimate the significance of the small things
In ten years from now, would be love deeper and hopefully be a little bit wiser.

Ramblings of love-

I have spent a few hours today pondering love,
It has been a long journey of discovery over these last few months.
A few months ago I starting memorizing a portion of the Bible.
1 Corinthians 13, which part of it goes like this.4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things.
As I pondered I came up with many more questions then answers,

Have we cheapened the word "love" by using it so carelessly, or so haphazardly?
Is love a feeling?
Is it something that you fall into?
Something that just comes over us, or is it a choice that we make?

You see the reason why I ask these questions is because part of me strongly believes that love is a choice,
a million small decisions that we make every day, and the words " I love you" have no power without the context love in action.
Words are cheap, the word love has been cheapened, to the point that I feel lost in this context.

Where are the modern day models of love?
How can the word love be redeemed?

Is it possible that we are trusting too much in some false idealized state of love, that we do not experience the love that is in our everyday life's.
Because I believe just as haphazardly as we falsely use the word love, true love is all around us to the same degree and volume.
But we are fixed on our love in context of getting our own needs met, or immediate needs, instead of the love that flows out of true life.
For me Jesus life is the only true model of love that I know,
His life was lived as not only to walk with people and to hurt with them, but as a protector, and in the end someone who laid down his life.
Love is so much greater then we could ever imagine, so much more powerful then the colliding of the universe.
If love is an action and not just a word then we have a wonderful model
If it is just word with out a true disciption then our world is full of these models also
If only to discover that love does not have to be cheap,
It does not have to leave us feeling empty.
The test of true love is that never fails, or rather it endures all things.